


You have to stay, my pet adopted you

by Morathi_Cain



Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [18]
Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Caring, Frong is also pissed, Frong is in pain and yearns, Getting Together, I made them - Freeform, I'll make them go through it all, Jealousy, Living Together, M/M, Misunderstanding, Pining, Realisation of feelings, Thara cares but is dense, Tumblr Prompt, Yearning, and Thara is confused, happy ending!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morathi_Cain/pseuds/Morathi_Cain
Summary: Tumblr-prompt: Frong and Thara live together, Cupcake loves Frong, yearning is happening!Not soon after the camp: Frong is pissed at Thara for declaring them brothers and rejecting his feelings. He'd rather avoid the man until his own feelings fade away, but fate is cruel.
Relationships: Frong Korawit Kankun/Thara
Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708738
Comments: 99
Kudos: 311





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the Anon sending me the prompt, I have a lot of fun writing this! =^^=  
> And because (of course) it gets longer than I had thought, this is actually a multi chapter fic. It should be finished in about three chapters, but I never know what my characters will think of :P  
> So, have fun! ^^

You have to stay, my pet adopted you

Chapter 1

When Thara walked into the flower shop, it was instantly clear: something was wrong.

The entire family was there with all the boys standing in a circle as if they could summon a wonder and Thara wondered which one it was.

As soon as he entered, all heads turned around and he was instantly the centre of attention. Rather grim attention, to be honest.

“What happened?”

Frong stared at him silently, reminding Thara how cold their relationship had become since the camp. He’d tried texting the boy several times, but he was either ignored or the replies were short and devoid of any emotion. And he still didn’t know why.

Frong’s mother stepped forward with a soft but sad smile: “Hello Doctor. Sorry, we couldn’t prepare the flowers for you today.”

Thara frowned: “No problem at all. Are you alright?”

She tried to nod, but ended up sighing: “We had to evacuate our house because of major water damage last night. Apparently, we can’t move back in for a few weeks and now we’re wondering where to go. I can stay over at a friend’s house, but she can’t take all the boys as well.”

Her sons didn’t seem so happy she was telling him all of it, least of all Frong, but Thara didn’t care. Or better: he cared too much, running his mouth without thinking about it first.

“I have some space left if you need to.”

The change in the woman in front of him was instant. There was hope and she smiled tentatively as if she couldn’t believe he would offer it.

“Oh, are you sure?”

Well, he couldn’t back away now for sure. So, he nodded.  
She turned around, looking directly at Frong who seemed frozen to the spot.

“Frong, you are closest to the Doctor, aren’t you? You should definitely take the opportunity.”

Before her son was able to reply, she turned back towards Thara: “Thank you so much. You have saved me and us. And don’t worry, Frong will pay rent and he won’t stay longer than needed. Maybe we’ll be able to get money to stay in a hotel or we’ll find another solution.”

“Don’t worry too much about it.”

His face hurt from smiling, even as his mind started turning. Had this been a good idea? Frong looked as if he wanted to murder Thara in his sleep. On the other hand, Thara knew how Frong was in stressful situations and maybe it would be the perfect opportunity to know what was going on?

“Come on, Frong”, she said with a wide smile, “Get your things.”

And he followed, like the good son he was.

~~~

The ride to Thara’s apartment had been rather quiet. They had chosen to take a taxi since Frong had too much to carry on the bike and he’d chosen to stare out of the window for most of the time.

It hurt.

Thara didn’t know where they had gone wrong and it was painful to know Frong had lost the trust he’d had in him. It hurt not to know what was the problem.  
Of course, he knew Frong was someone who could lash out at people because of something else entirely, but this was a whole new behaviour. And he’d hoped they were over that phase of Frong going against him rather than telling him what was going on.

The taxi was definitely the wrong place to discuss anything and so they stayed like this. Quiet and tense, barely able to look at each other.

But despite their Frong’s obvious wish to ignore Thara, he was rather interested when they finally stepped into the apartment. As subtle as possible did he look around and Thara behaved as if he didn’t see it.

His apartment wasn’t big by all means, but it was enough for two people to live together and even avoid each other if they really wanted.

Thara opened the door to the guest room which he’d wanted to have in case his mother wanted to stay over.

“This is yours for the time being.”

Frong’s face darkened again: “Don’t worry, I won’t burden you for long.”

Thara thought back to his own words, wondering how such a simple sentence could have gone wrong.

“I didn’t mean it like that”, he sighed, “Anyway, this is yours.”

“For the time being”, Frong repeated in a rather cold tone, but he stepped inside.

It was probably better not to comment on it, otherwise, he might choose to spend his time on the street instead.

“Ah”, Thara suddenly remembered and stepped inside as well, “I should get Cupcake out. She’s usually a quiet one, but just in case she has her crazy five minutes.”

Now Frong dared to stare. First at Thara and then at the big terrarium which was requiring about a third of the room.

“I thought only cats had their crazy five minutes?”

Somehow those words instantly made Thara’s heart lighter and he started to smile. Why this boy was so good at making him forgive and forget and be happy, he didn’t know.

“I guess every animal has those. Cupcake is no exception. I rather think it’s a good thing to take some time off to go completely wild.”

The gaze Frong directed at him now was unreadable. Had he said something wrong again? But Frong didn’t say anything snarky or angry but simply turned back to the terrarium: “It’s a big one. Do you really want to move it?”

“No”, Thara shook his head, “That would be too heavy. I have a small, transportable one. She can stay there for a bit. During the day she can even run wild in the apartment. At least if you’re okay with it.”

The shrug was noncommittal and Thara could have read it any way he wanted, probably.

So, instead of continuing his monologue, he went to Cupcakes home, opened it and got her onto his hand.

“Say hello to our new roommate”, he told her before stepping closer to Frong.

This time Frong didn’t step back. He was way too interested in the lizard. And Cupcake? Cupcake seemed thrilled to meet the new one in their home, stretching and looking, not a tiny bit afraid at all.

Well, apparently Frong had no problem with Cupcake, opposite to Thara and for a second, he looked down at his own pet with some kind of envy.

But only for a second, because if those two liked each other, it was perfect, to be honest.

Thara held Cupcake closer to Frong: “You can hold her.”

Finally, Frong’s stony mask dropped and his happy, giddy self made a shy appearance.

“I can?”

“Of course.”

Thara smiled as Frong held out his own hand and Cupcake climbed across their fingers to settle with Frong.

“She likes you.”

The “now you have to stay” wasn’t said. Somehow Thara had the feeling it would destroy the atmosphere in an instant.

Frong stared with a smile at the lizard in his hand, stroking it gently with his thumb. And Cupcake? Cupcake seemed to enjoy it more than anything else.

If the sight made Thara’s heart race more than usual, he didn’t dare to show it. Better not disturb the moment.

~~~

Living with Thara was heaven and hell at the same time.

To be close to the one he still loved and to be reminded of his own feelings and the hopelessness of them, pained him. If he could have, he would have ripped his own heart out, leaving only their friendship.

Because despite him being cold and snarky to Thara, he still smiled at Frong, prepared him meals whenever he could and was way too patient. Even for an older brother.

And Frong knew because his own brothers would have thrown him out by now. Or maybe they would have gotten a water bottle to make him pay for every ungrateful moment.

Frong knew he was unfair and mean to Thara. He knew and he wanted to change, but it was difficult. For a bit he would ignore his crushed feelings and try to be neutral and polite at least, but then Thara would smile at him and ask him about his day while cooking for him and making too many dad jokes.

Frong truly wondered why he’d had to fall for someone so weird. Couldn’t he have fallen for his look alone? So he could be disturbed by his weird behaviour? By his over the top care?

No, of course, he couldn’t. Of course, this was exactly what he’d fallen for and what reminded him of the rejection with the same force as it made him fall for Thara again.

He was truly fucked, wasn’t he?

“Are you okay?”

Once again Frong had started daydreaming so hard, he’d forgotten where he was. And especially who he was with.

A cool hand touched his forehead to take his temperature and concerned eyes sent shivers down Frong’s back. He curled his fingers into fists to keep them by his side.

To keep them away from this face which he yearned to kiss and to touch. To pull close and keep close. So he could tell Thara how much he felt and how painful all of this was for him.

Frong let out a shaky breath before he pushed Thara’s hand away with more force than necessary.

“I’m fine. Stop it.”

Thara seemed only confused and worried instead of hurt as if he still didn’t know what the reason for Frong’s behaviour was. Who the reason for his behaviour was. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe Frong being in love with him was too stupid, unimaginable even.

Frong hated this with every fibre of his being.

He stood up and turned to get into his room and hide until Thara was finally at work. Till then he’d play with Cupcake. Because at least Thara’s pet loved him. A bit too much even?

“What about food?”

Frong didn’t even turn: “I’m not hungry anymore.”

He refrained from slamming the door, knowing it would be one step too far. But oh how he wished he could. How he wanted to throw a tantrum until Thara would finally ask what was going on instead of being so damn patient all the time. Until Frong could tell him about his feelings and be able to move out again. The rejection was like a constant sword above his head, ready to strike any given moment.

The only reason it hadn’t happened yet was because Thara was too nice, Frong was sure of it. Too nice to reject him properly and hurt him. Even if it would be a better way. Although Frong didn’t want to lose Thara’s friendship at all. He wanted to keep it like a secret diary, hugging it to his chest late at night after an emotional entry and hidden under his pillow.

Not that he wanted to hide Thara under his pillow, but ... okay, maybe the comparison wasn’t the best, but Frong thought he was entitled to being a bit dramatic.

He’d been rejected by the second person in mere weeks and neither of them seemed to know he even liked them.

Frong huffed. Maybe the denseness ran in the family with the way Duen and Thara had reacted to him. Or maybe he simply wasn’t their type. Like at all. Not even a little bit.

“I hate him, you know?”, Frong murmured as he got Cupcake out of his home and sat down on the floor, “I don’t even know why I like him. Why I continue to like him, even when he’s the weirdest and stupidest person on this earth.”

Cupcake looked at him quietly for a moment before climbing his arm and settling on his shoulder like always. Frong didn’t even know why, but it calmed him down instantly. It also made him feel guilty because of the scene he had just caused and reminded him of his rumbling stomach, but his pride didn’t allow him to go outside and behave as if nothing had happened. Or apologise even. Because then he’d have to say what was wrong and he couldn’t do it.

He would rather stay as a friend, junior and little brother until Thara had enough of him and threw him out than confess anything again. He was still too bruised.

A knock on the door made him jerk up. Cupcake got a bit shaken up but still stayed.

“Yes?”

Slowly, the door opened and Thara looked inside, a hesitant smile on his face.

“I’m off to work. The food is in the fridge if you get hungry again. I hope it’s enough.”

It was weird and awkward and at the same cute and embarrassing. The guilt was also raging high, making Frong blush and nod quietly.

Thara paused for a moment as if he wanted to ask, but he stopped himself. Instead, he smiled a bit wider.

“I am sorry if I somehow offended you back then. I’ll try not to do it again.”

The apology shocked Frong more than he could have anticipated. This meant Thara knew it was him who’d made Frong react like this, instead of something else being entirely wrong. Which had been the reason for Frong lashing out most of the time in the short history of their ... relationship.

But Thara still didn’t know what it was and to be honest, all Frong could accuse him off, was being almost offensively dense and sweet at the same time.

“No”, he started, “You didn’t do anything, I ... it’s just been a bad day, sorry.”

He could have had the chance, but instead, he’d chickened out, his heart in his throat. He didn’t want to hurt Thara, he really didn’t. No matter how painful everything was and how often he bit back like a wounded dog.

A relieved smile replaced the tense one: “Oh, well then. I hope it will get better. Good night.”

The door was closed before Frong could even say it back.

~~~

It wasn’t because of him!

His heavy, troubled heart got a bit lighter as he remembered the way Frong had blushed and rushed to tell him it wasn’t his fault. Apparently nothing much had changed. Apparently Frong was worried about something else. Apparently ...

No.

The realisation came crashing down. Even if Thara wasn’t at fault for the pain he’d seen earlier, Frong was still keeping his feelings and thoughts from him. Opposite to their time at the camp, he wasn’t telling Thara anything anymore.

Thara had somehow lost the trust, Frong had had in him and he had no idea why. This hurt even more than thinking he’d overstepped a hidden line. Why couldn’t Frong tell him what was wrong? Was it something bad? Or was it so private, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything? Thara wasn’t his real brother after all. Only a senior who’d offered to take him in. But they’d seemed like friends at the camp and Thara had hoped they were.

Apparently they weren’t friends enough.

Thinking back, Thara frowned as he remembered the way Frong had looked at Duen. He wasn’t back in love with his cousin, was he? Or was it someone else? Had Frong fallen again for someone and didn’t dare to tell Thara?

The thought alone made Thara’s insides tighten painfully. He was worried, remembering the painful yearning only too well. Could it really be? Was Frong in love again? Thara wanted him to be happy, but right now he didn’t seem like it, so of course, he worried for the boy.

Should he ask him? Or would it only get weird? Only a few weeks back he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, asking whatever he wanted to. But now with so much tension between them, he wondered if it was the right thing to do or if he should wait and see until Frong came to him willingly.

Thara let out a deep sigh before entering the hospital and meeting Boom for their shift. It was time to be professional again.

~~~

It had been four days since Frong had hastily left the kitchen and they had barely seen each other. The only night Thara hadn’t had the night shift, he’d been out drinking with his friends.

It had also been the one night Frong had been awake until he’d finally heard the door. Staring into the dark, he’d listened intently for more steps or more voices, someone else tagging along.

Thara bringing a lover back home had been this specific, terrifying fear he’d had since the beginning. He didn’t seem exactly like a one-night-stand-kind-of-guy, but who knew? He didn’t need to hold himself back in front of his junior and self-declared brother, did he?

The image was painful and almost enough to make Frong choke on unshed tears.

What would he even do when Thara brought someone back home? When he’d come into the kitchen the next day and there he or she was, wearing Thara’s shirt and being happy?

Would he move out the next day or would he endure it, just so he could stay close to the man he loved?

He didn’t know.

Frong had waited and listened, but there was only one pair of steps and no voices to be heard. Of course, Thara could have still kissed someone, far away from Frong’s sight, but at least he hadn’t taken anyone home. Even if it was only because he didn’t want to do it in front of his guest.

A little something.

Since then he’d seen Thara maybe three times, just when he was about to leave for his night shift and Frong had been coming home from his studies. It definitely made the tension lighten up a bit, but Frong also realised he missed Thara. A lot.

Rarely seeing him and barely talking to him was shitty, because his heart demanded so much more. They were living together, damn it, they should spend more time together than a hasty meal or a rushed “goodbye”, no matter how painful it was.

Frong stared at the dark ceiling with growing frustration. Tonight he wasn’t waiting if Thara would bring a lover back home. Instead, his brain was keeping him awake with the never-ending questions: What should he do? What did Thara feel? What did he even want?

A loud noise made Frong jerk up and listen intently. Thara’s voice was to be heard, but he was whispering as if talking to himself.

There was no light under the door, so he apparently had decided against switching on the light. Had he hurt himself?

Faster than he’d thought possible, Frong jumped out of the bed and walked towards the door, pulling it open.

“Thara?”

The dark figure of Thara was barely visible in the living room. He was standing close to the table and was rubbing his leg. At least that was what it looked like. As soon as Frong called his name, he stopped moving.

“You want some light?”

“No!”

Frong blinked several times, taken aback by the force. Although ... Thara’s voice sounded rather rough and tired. No wonder after another night shift.

Thara coughed once before continuing a bit calmer: “Sorry for waking you. Everything is alright, you can go to bed.”

“Are you sure? Do you need help? Did you hurt yourself?”

Even in the darkness could he see the way Thara shook his head. Strangely, it made his heart sink. As if he’d been rejected once more. Wasn’t he even enough to help him?

“I just stubbed my toe, nothing serious. Thank you anyway. Good night.”

With those words, Thara slowly passed Frong in the darkness and disappeared into his room.

It took Frong several minutes, standing in the doorframe and staring at the closed door, before he moved again, going back to his bed.

Thara had sounded so tired and exhausted and he’d still declined any help from Frong. Was he really such a burden, the man couldn’t even let him care a little bit?

Maybe, Frong thought, it was finally time to move out.

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go again!  
> Have fun! ^^

Chapter 2

Coming back from his studies into a dark and quiet apartment was rather disturbing and even a bit creepy. The silence was surrounding everything as if time had stopped and Frong didn’t know if it was because of his decision to move out, or because of something else.

There was no sign of Thara, but Frong had to admit he’d been fashionably late today. For once he hadn’t pressed to finish on time. Thara knew him too well and he’d instantly know something was up. But Frong wasn’t yet ready to tell him about his plans.

„He’s already at work, isn’t he?“, he sighed before entering his room to greet Cupcake. Cupcake who seemed even more eager than usual to see him.

„Did you miss me?“, he greeted her as he got her out of the cage. Or at least as he tried to, because she didn’t want to. Instead, she ran in circles before settling at her bathing place for several seconds. 

A bathing place which was rather empty. They didn’t need to change it every day, but on Fridays, Thara would usually fill it up again. Which he hadn’t done today. Had he forgotten Cupcake? Frong couldn’t believe it.

„I’ll get more“, he promised before going to the kitchen. When he came back he also threw a bit of food into the terrarium for good measures. Cupcake had been so patient, she deserved it.

As he watched her happily devouring the insects, he wondered if it was actually a good idea to move out. Sure, Thara had managed everything alone so far, but maybe he did need some help? He could be useful, couldn’t he?

The ringing of the landline pulled him out of his thoughts and confused him for a moment.

He’d teased Thara about having one instead of being satisfied with his mobile phone, but Thara had laughed and smiled. Apparently, it was for work and his own mother.

Had something happened?

As quickly as possible Frong sprinted to the phone to answer it.

„Thara’s residence. Frong speaking.“

He almost felt as if he was at home, picking the phone up for his mother. But silence greeted him on the other end.

„Hello?“

„Oh, hi“, a voice finally said, but Frong still had no idea who it was, „This is Boom. I’m Thara’s colleague.“

„Hi.“

Slowly, the bad feeling Frong had had when he’d entered the apartment, got stronger.

„Is Thara at home? His shift started thirty minutes ago and we tried calling him on every phone already. He’s usually not late.“

Thara was rarely late, Frong knew that for a fact. It didn’t make anything better.

„I don’t think so“, he answered hesitantly, „I just came home and everything was dark and empty.“

Everything was exactly as dark and empty as he’d left it early in the morning, to be honest. At least it felt as if no one had walked around or moved even a chair since then. Had Thara maybe overslept? Until now? He had sounded tired though.

„Maybe he overslept?“, Boom said and in his voice was the same worry Frong felt.

„I’ll look into his room“, Frong replied as he went towards Thara’s room with the phone in his hand. 

He’d only once been in it as Thara had led him around the apartment, three weeks ago. Going in there felt as if he was crossing Thara’s privacy and his own crush on the man, made it even worse. He had no right, but it was his duty now, wasn’t it?

Slowly, he opened the door to a dark room. The blinds were down and it was hot, the air as thick as on a humid summer day.

„Thara?“

Frong could hear Boom breathe through the phone as if he’d been right next to him. There was a weird heap on the bed. Had he actually overslept?

„Thara?“

Frong turned on the light with only a little bit of guilt. He had to make sure everything was okay and if Thara had overslept it was his job to wake him anyway. Seriously, he only meant well and ...

„Thara!“

With only two steps, Frong was at Thara’s bed, looking down at the unconscious man who was lying on the bed in his wrinkled working clothes from the day before, his legs hanging off the mattress as if he hadn’t even had enough energy to crawl onto the bed properly. Or to undress.

„Thara!“

Frong touched Thara’s forehead which was burning, his breathing haggard and unregular. Only when Frong’s cool skin touched his, did he sigh a bit, as if that was what he’d needed all along.

„Fuckfuckfuckfuck!“

Frong stared at the man in front of him, his thoughts racing. What was he supposed to do? What could he do? What ... wait! Putting the phone back to his ear, Frong told Boom how he’d found Thara.

„Shall we get the ambulance?“

Boom, who’d sounded worried only seconds before, instantly got professional and calm. Calm enough to lessen Frong’s panic. At least a bit.

„You say his skin is hot? But he’s breathing?“

„I suppose he’s been lying here since last night. He did sound rather exhausted when he came back home, but I thought it had only been because of the night shift. He still wears his clothes from yesterday and the whole room is like an oven.“

„Okay“, Boom replied and if possible his voice had gotten even calmer, „You’ll do a few things and I’ll call every hour to get an update, okay? Try to get him to respond. If it doesn’t work at all, you call the ambulance, okay?“

Frong agreed, his whole body trembling slightly by now. But he had to listen and to concentrate and remember. He had to be there for Thara. He had to.

After Boom had given him a list, asking him to write it down as well, Frong dropped the phone on the table and ran outside to get a bottle of water. Before anything, he should hydrate Thara, who had gone by now without any water for a whole day. Probably.

On the way, he chucked off his jacket and his tie, giving him the freedom to move around without restrictions.

„Damn Thara“, he muttered as he came back with a bottle and a glass, „Why are you doing this? Aren’t you an adult? Can’t you take care of yourself?“

But Thara didn’t answer and Frong didn’t expect him to.

Instead, he pulled Thara upwards until he was seated against the headboard of the bed, his head leaning against the wall.

„Hey, Thara“, Frong tried again, this time softer and with his arm around the other man to stabilise him, „You need to drink. Please open your eyes at least.“

Still, Thara didn’t react and Frong’s panic came back. What if Thara would have to go to the hospital? What if he would die because Frong hadn’t looked after him properly? He should have turned on the light, after all, the night before. He should have looked for him the next morning and at night when he realised Cupcake hadn’t gotten any new water and ...

There was a flutter of eyelids and it dragged Frong back into the present.

Maybe Thara couldn’t drink now, but Frong would try. Slowly, he held the glass at Thara’s lips and lifted it enough for some drops to wet them. It didn’t take long for Thara to open his mouth, even when he still seemed half asleep, to get more water instinctively. 

Like this, he emptied half a glass before Frong put it away. This should be enough for the next steps. Afterwards, Thara could always drink more. And he’d make sure there would be an ‘afterwards’.

Looking at the list to be sure of what was coming next, Frong opened the window and lifted the blinds a bit. Then he got a bowl with more water and a towel.

„Make sure to cool his skin down and wash off his sweat and dirt. Maybe get him into another room afterwards so his bedroom can be aired properly.“

“I have to undress him?”

“If he’s not able to do it himself, yes. He shouldn’t stay in his old and sweaty clothes. Any of them.”

Taking a deep breath, Frong searched for shorts in Thara’s cupboards. He muttered all the while: „It’s an emergency, it’s an emergency, it’s an emergency, ...“ so he didn’t feel, once more, as if he invaded any privacy.

Back at the bed he started getting Thara out of his jacket and shirt. The man already seemed a bit calmer, which was a relief. And it was needed, because getting an unconscious person out of their clothes was more work than he’d expected. By the time he’d pulled Thara’s shirt over his head without breaking his arms, he was sweating like crazy himself.

„You could really wake up now“, he muttered while putting the shirt on a chair beside the bed. 

Every nervous thought had vanished from him for now. There was no room for anything else besides his constant fear for Thara’s health and life. The thought of Thara finally being clean and wearing new shorts was a beautiful goal in front of his inner eyes.

„Hmmm?“

Frong’s head jerked up, just as he tried to open Thara’s buckle and he stared in a pair of half-lidded, completely confused eyes looking down at him.

„Wha...?“

„Thara!“, Frong couldn’t hide his relieved smile, „You’re awake!“

„I ... what?“

The words were only mumbled, but he was producing sounds, which were similar to words and Frong was happy about that.

„You are sick and Boom called me to ask where you are and I found you like this and now I’m trying to get your clothes off to wash you. Can you help? Move? Anything?“

Thara stared at him, his eyes still not completely open. Well, he probably wouldn’t be much of help then.

„Work?“

Frong swallowed: „Your shift started an hour ago and I just came back when Boom called to ask for you.“

A sudden movement came into Thara’s body, even if it was only a helpless wriggle.

„What are you doing?“

Thara averted his eyes as he tried to wriggle further: „Need ... work ...“

Frong blinked several times in a row. What the hell? This idiot didn’t actually think he’d let him go to work, did he? Not even speaking of him being able to?

„Oh no!“

Frong didn’t even need to use any force to keep Thara on the bed. He was so weak, he couldn’t even get away by himself.

“You’ll stay here. I’ve already told Boom you won’t be coming.”

Thara stopped wriggling and stared at him in confusion.

“He’ll call soon and ask after you. You’re in no state to work and I’ll make sure you’ll get healthy again. I promise.”

Thara finally stopped struggling, as if he’d only now realised how right Frong was. Taking in a few ragged breaths, he tried to speak again, his voice rough and weak.

“What are you ... doing?”

For a second Frong blushed as Thara stared pointedly at his half-naked state. At least as pointedly as he could.

“I’m supposed to change you into new clothes and wash you as much as possible since you were sweating a lot since last night.”

It was quite likely Thara didn’t understand anything he’d just said. He looked at Frong with slightly widened eyes and didn’t say anything. The way the skin of colour seemed to darken by the second thanks to his fever made Frong worry even more.

“Okay”, he took a deep breath and tried to smile, “Those trousers need to come off ...”

If possible, Thara blushed, even more, the fever returning with full force. At least he stayed quiet now, helping Frong by wriggling out of his clothes without saying another word.

~~~

When Frong finally left him on the sofa to go to bed himself, Thara wished he could go to sleep. His body demanded it, but although Frong was in his own room, his image was still right in front of Thara and he couldn’t flee. 

In his mind he was so close, Thara could see the bit of scruff he’d grown after a day of not shaving. Thara could smell him despite his headache. Thara still felt Frong’s hair touching his chest as he’d changed his shorts or as he’d washed him all while Thara had wished he could simply die out of embarrassment.

He’d wanted to do it alone, but he hadn’t been able to. Nothing else was left but to let Frong take the lead and Thara had tried to stay sane as he’d reminded himself that his was only fair. He’d taken pictures of Frong half-naked back at the camp after all. 

It had been because Frong had finally seemed a bit more confident and like himself again instead of pining after Duen, but it didn’t change the fact that he had those pictures on his computer. So, Frong seeing him like this was only fair, wasn’t it?

Thara ignored the fact how Frong was literally helping him right now instead of enjoying the sight. If it was a sight for Frong to enjoy even. His reasoning wouldn’t have worked anymore if he’d accepted that fact.

It could have been a nice moment, to be cared for by someone like Frong, if Thara had ignored everything else.

1\. He’d made a damn fool out of himself and didn’t even deserve to be cared for like this. What had he thought saying he wanted to go back to work when he was clearly in no condition to do so? He knew he was supposed to stay at home when he was sick and he’d never been one to disregard that. Till now at least. Had he wanted to impress Frong with this stunt? What had he thought?

2\. The pain and fever were omnipresent, paired with helplessness, which he despised. He was rather used to helping than letting himself be helped and not even being able to pull off his own shorts was humiliating. Especially when the help was his own junior, a man he’d promised to support instead of being a burden for.

3\. The embarrassment of being seen naked by Frong. Almost everyone else would have been okay. It was a necessity they had to get through after all and as a doctor, he was used to seeing more of people than he usually would. But somehow the fact that Frong had been the one, had made everything worse. The thought was like a constant pull at his heart and Thara didn’t know why. Or how he was supposed to handle it.

4\. He was smelly and dirty and sweaty and this definitely wasn’t a state he’d wanted to be in if Frong ever saw him naked. Truly, that wasn’t what he’d imagin... 

What?

He hadn’t imagined anything! Ever!

His heartbeat skyrocketed as if he’d just gotten an adrenaline rush. What the hell was going on?

Maybe he should think of something calming? Something nice?

Like Cupcake for example. 

Cupcake was good. 

She was his treasure and his child and he loved her. 

He especially loved her when she was being held by Frong. And when Frong smiled at her, Thara couldn’t be happier. Or calmer. Just staring at Frong’s smile was enough to be happy, because it was such a beautiful smile.

Although he now had to admit Frong also looked damn beautiful when he concentrated on something. Like when he was studying or cooking or when he helped Thara drink and almost carried him to the sofa. 

Frong’s hands were something else he really liked. The man had such tender and soft hands. Thara had to think about them carefully binding flowers at the shop, creating something wonderful.   
To feel them at his own skin had been something else though. A whole new experience and ... hadn’t he wanted to calm himself down? Thinking of his junior touching him was definitely not the way to do that!

With a groan, Thara threw his arms over his face. If he could vanish on the spot, he would have done so, because what the hell was going on with him?

“Thara?”

Oh no …

“Do you need anything? Is it getting worse again?”

Carefully, Thara lifted his arm and stared at Frong through heavy eyes. What had he done to deserve this man? This situation? Everything? His own drama?

He smiled, even if it was tense and a bit crooked.

“Can’t sleep.”

What he’d meant to say was, “Don’t worry, I’m just frustrated because I can’t seem to fall asleep although I’m very tired and I keep thinking about you”, but he was too weak for that.

Frong’s cool and by now familiar hand checked his temperature and Thara was almost ready to ask him to stay by his side and keep it that way. Even though he’d just been freaking out about Frong’s touch.

“Your fever didn’t get worse. Good. I’ll make you some tea.”

Thara stared, as Frong, who was probably exhausted as well, went into the kitchen. He seemed so calm and serious and concentrated, his whole attention on Thara as if he was the most precious person for him. As if Thara was a child or his brother. Or … Thara shook his head, not daring to continue his last thought.

Still, his observation counted for something, didn’t it?   
Frong, who usually tried to be cool and collected and was actually more like a nervous and cute squirrel, was calm and dependable right now. Despite his embarrassment, Thara felt safe with him. He trusted Frong with everything and hadn’t been worried for his own state for even a second.

He was still staring at the door when Frong came back, a hot cup of tea in his hands which he carefully placed next to Thara. Once more, Frong checked his temperature before pulling his hand back slowly, watching Thara with a strange look in his eyes.

It was rare for Thara to have absolutely no idea what Frong thought. Was he simply tired? Did he want to ask or tell Thara something? Was he bothered by the situation? Anything?

Despite him wondering, he still felt as if he was staring at a wall. A very caring and wonderful wall though. Maybe he thought, it was because he was sick and tired. Maybe it wasn’t Frong who seemed unreadable, but it was his own mind which couldn’t understand anything anymore.

Somewhere along with those thoughts, while staring back at Frong, Thara slowly drifted to sleep, his tea still untouched. He hadn’t needed it to calm down anyway.

~~~

The thought of moving out had completely left Frong’s mind. Only when he’d opened his phone again, seeing several tabs with possible apartments, had he stopped for a second, wondering what he should do. But leaving wasn’t a possibility anymore. Not now at least. When Thara was healthy again, he might think about it once more, but not now.

It wasn’t that it was an opportunity to be close to his crush, but rather that he couldn’t leave Thara alone like this. He’d worry too much if he was away and he’d probably be back in a heartbeat.

His crush didn’t make any of it easier.

Once he’d been back in his own room and he’d been able to let the wall down, which he’d put up for his own safety, his heartbeat had skyrocketed. Sleeping had been impossible with Thara in front of his mind, staring at him quite confused and adorable. Even though he hadn’t wanted it, he remembered the sensation of Thara’s skin under his fingers, the way his hair had felt when he’d brushed it aside. The flutter of his eyelids as Frong had cooled his skin and the heat he’d radiated when Frong had carried him to the sofa.

He truly tried not to think about it in a sexual way and mostly he didn’t. Thara still was the man he loved. The one who’d rejected him in such a painful but friendly way, Frong couldn’t even be openly angry at him.   
Not anymore at least.  
Not now.

Frong definitely didn’t want to abuse the situation, but he still wished he could have held Thara’s hand, could have kissed his forehead and whispered sweet nothings into his ear to calm him down. He wished this hadn’t been the first time he’d seen Thara naked and he didn’t have had to feel so invading and strange. 

Groaning as quietly as possible, he covered his face with his hands.

At least, thanks to all those thoughts, he’d been awake enough to hear Thara from the next room. At least ...

When he finally went to bed that night and when he finally fell asleep, it was with Thara’s drowsy eyes in his mind, the way he’d fallen asleep mere minutes after Frong had sat down next to him.

The thought that he might have calmed Thara down enough, warmed his heart in a new and tender way.

It was as if there was hope once more. Only a spark of it, but hope none the less. And for once, he dared to let it be.

~~~

The next few days of Thara being sick were weird and intense and wonderful as well. 

Frong cared for him and Thara tried to enjoy it, tried to be sensible and follow his doctor’s orders. Even though it was weird not to be the expert this time. Or to be the expert, but not act like it. He didn’t even need to since Frong was more than capable of doing so himself.

Which might have been because of Boom, as Thara realised after two days.

They weren’t together all the time, of course, but it was still obvious that Frong called Thara’s colleague several times a day. Or Boom called him? Frong didn’t even hide it. He walked around the flat, telling Boom how Thara was this day and he was even taking notes.

He wouldn’t even have had to since they actually went to a doctor as soon as Thara was halfway back on his feet.

“Didn’t know you were close”, Thara managed to ask after listening for a while. He was already able to walk around the apartment and change his own short. Still, Frong continued to care and he continued to talk to Boom.

Frong lifted his eyebrow in mockery: “We wouldn’t be if you had been sensible enough to care for yourself and not fall so ill, I thought you were dead.”

Now it was his fault?

Sickness always made Thara grumpy, but this time it was especially hard, his mood changing from one minute to the other.

Somehow he managed to swallow the “You could have left me to die then” because he knew he was unreasonable and settled for a smile.

“Thank you for not letting me die.”

Frong stared at him for a moment, apparently unable to decide if he should be angry at Thara. Again. Somehow he was losing control over this situation.

“You should thank Boom as well.”

He rather wouldn’t.

“I’ll make sure to tell him.”

As if Frong was able to read his thoughts, he squinted and kept quiet for several uncomfortable seconds. Then he shrugged.

“What do you want for dinner?”

Thara was so done with Frong and his own confused feelings, it took everything not to sigh and sink down like an elderly lady.

He was able to walk again.  
He was able to speak again.  
Hell, he was even able to dress again without help.

And still, Frong wanted to continue caring for him.   
And all Thara wanted to ask, was:

Why do you do this?  
What do you get out of this?  
How can you be pissed at me one second and cook for me the very next?  
Why would you even want to?  
And why are you angry at me in the first place?

Thara had rarely been as restless as he was now, despite him also being exhausted on a constant basis. Must be him being tied to the bed, he wondered. And to be cared for like this.

“You don’t need to do that for me anymore. I can cook myself.”

It was meant as a relief for Frong. A relief of his burden to care for Thara. And for himself to feel a little bit less helpless and difficult. But apparently he’d gotten it all wrong. Once again. How had he lost his ability to make Frong smile so fast? Why did everything he said have to be the wrong thing?

Frong frowned and stepped back.

“Well”, he managed through gritted teeth, making Thara’s neck tingle, “What a perfect timing. I wanted to take a shower anyway. Have fun.”

With those words he left, leaving Thara sitting on the sofa and once again staring at the door, repeating the whole conversation, trying to figure out what had gone wrong.   
Well, he shook his head, he’d dug his own grave, so he should probably lie in it, shouldn’t he?

Letting out a deep sigh, Thara stood up, feeling the exhaustion deep in his bones. As if he was an old man. He huffed, silently laughing about himself and slowly making his way to the kitchen.

Couldn’t he be healthy again? So he had all his wits together and would be able to be light-hearted and fun? No matter what Frong’s mood would be? He also wanted to care for himself once more. Frong hadn’t moved in with him to be his servant and Thara didn’t want him to feel obligated to stay with him around the clock.

No matter how much he liked being in the centre of Frong’s attention. Of being looked at as if he was special and precious and to be held. He wanted to keep those memories as a treasure for different days, deep down in his heart.

When Thara arrived in the kitchen, his vision was already a bit blurry and his legs wobbly at best. He knew he probably should have let Frong do it but no, he’d opened his damn mouth, trying to relieve Frong of at least one burden. And now he was in the kitchen, wondering where up and where down was and what they even had to eat. Was there anything in the fridge at all? Would Ramen be okay?

Stumbling across the floor he somehow got hold of a pair of instant noodles, deciding it had to be enough for today. Maybe tomorrow he’d be able to cook something more advanced. For now, he could only do so much. But he could do it, he was sure of it.

Carefully, Thara took the water kettle and stepped closer to the tab to fill it with water. Had it always been this heavy? He couldn’t remember but now it seemed that way. No problem, he thought, he could totally do ... Thara’s legs buckled and in the last second, he managed to hold onto the cupboard next to him. He himself was still standing, even if a bit unstable, but the kettle slipped from his fingers and crashed down, onto Thara’s foot and then, as loud as possible, onto the floor.

“Fuck!”

Tears threatened to fall thanks to the sharp pain shooting through his foot and for once his voice was loud instead of weak.

“Fuckfuckfuck!”

The kitchen door was ripped open before he’d even finished swearing. Again.

“Thara?!”

Frong almost gave Thara a heart attack. A second heart attack.

“What happened?”

Frong walked into the kitchen with big strides, his eyes checking Thara up for any wounds. From head to toe.

“Don’t worry”, Thara tried to laugh it off, even though it came out more like a hiss, “The kettle slipped.”

Frong had been showering. Or maybe he’d just stepped out of the shower. Thara didn’t know and didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was Frong being half-naked in front of him. Again. If someone with only a towel around their waist could even be considered half-naked instead of full-naked.

Frong looked down at the kettle and then back at Thara who was still holding on for his dear life.  
The worry was clearly visible.

“Did it hit you?”

Thara started nodding before he changed his mind and ended shaking his head. All it did was make Frong lift his eyebrows, obviously tired of Thara’s bullshit and to be honest, Thara was, too.

“It fell on my toes.”

Frong knelt down and Thara tried desperately to look anywhere else. How had he been able to calmly take pictures of this man the last time he’d seen him like that?

“It might be getting bruised, but I hope it’s not broken.”

“It’s not”, Thara replied, his voice surprisingly rough, “I hope.”

Suddenly a smile spread across Frong’s face and it was so tender, it almost burst Thara’s heart. Who’d allowed him to look like this? To look at anyone like this? Especially at Thara?

“What did you even want to make?”

“Ramen. Thought I’d start easy.”

Frong huffed and rolled his eyes before standing up again, holding onto his towel. When he stepped closer, Thara got even more confused.

“What?”

“I’ll get you back in the living room”, Frong replied dryly, “That way I don’t have to worry about you accidentally killing yourself as soon as I’m away.”

“But the food!”, Thara protested.

“We’ll get take-out.”

And that was it.

Frong persuaded Thara to put one arm around his back and carried him back to the sofa. Which was, to be honest, a good idea. Because Thara was already as exhausted as if he’d run a marathon. 

It probably didn’t help to have his hand and arm around a very naked shoulder and be pressed against a half-naked body. Or fully naked if one didn’t think of a towel as clothes. 

Yes, he’d seen Frong already, but he hadn’t been so close back then. He had only been able to imagine what it could feel like to touch him. Now he definitely knew how it felt and it was a burn he had no protection against.

“Wait for me”, Frong ordered as he went away and Thara listened. There was nothing else to do, really.

~~~

Having Thara’s hand on his naked skin had been hell and heaven at once. Frong knew he shouldn’t think that way, but he did and he could only control his actions, not his wishes. At least he’d been able to keep a straight face. Ha, straight ...

As fast as possible, Frong changed into something more appropriate. Something which would hide the places Thara had touched, even if it had been accidentally. A burn so deep, Frong was sure he would still be able to feel it days later.

He went back to order for both of them, cleaned the kitchen and made some tea. If he kept himself busy, he couldn’t think too much and that was good. Better not wonder what was going on with Thara and why he seemed so weird, his mood changing all the time. Better not wonder if he should confess again before everything could get worse. Better not think about their touches and his wishes. Better not ...

When he finally brought the food into the living room, Thara looked exhausted as hell, even though he had barely moved. So he had tried to be stronger and better than he actually was? Or had he been tired of being cared for?

Frong tried not to think about that as well. Because at this moment, Thara didn’t complain any longer. Even when Frong fed him the soup with a spoon, Thara kept quiet, accepting the meal peacefully. He even tried to make a joke, but thanks to his exhaustion he missed the point, repeated himself and made a mess out of it. Frong still laughed because Thara had tried to make him laugh. Because he knew Thara enjoyed making him laugh as well. He’d told him so. Even if it had only been as a brother.

And so Frong laughed. They could both use some love and laughter after all, regardless of the ‘what’ and ‘why’ and ‘how’ of their feelings.

Thara’s satisfied smile made it all worth it.

to be continued ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please let me know if you like it =^^=


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, it's time for another chapter and some more ... emotions!
> 
> Thank you for everyone who's reading and commenting and being excited about this fic! You're amazing and I'm truly lucky to have you all =^^=
> 
> Now I wish you lots of fun ;)

Chapter 3

After Thara’s disaster experience in the kitchen, it had gotten rather peaceful for them. Thara stopped trying to seem healthier than he was, calming down as much as possible and Frong tried to be more patient.

They got to a point where they enjoyed their time together, no matter if they actually talked or simply sat right next to each other. Frong was also surprisingly often at home, despite his studies.

And despite his constant calls with Boom.

By now he didn’t talk to Boom around Thara anymore. By now he vanished into his room, talking in secret and leaving Thara wondering what they talked about.

Had Frong fallen in love again? Had that been the reason he’d been so weird before? Because he had met Boom already? Or had he been in love with someone else? Or had it been because he’d still yearned for Duen and now his feelings had changed and he could be happy about it once more?

Thara didn’t want to think about it, rather wanted Frong to tell him himself when he was ready, but the thought took roots in his mind and was difficult to get rid of.

Especially once he went back to work. They saw each other less and less again and it was almost like experiencing withdrawal. Frong was also back to studying, sometimes so long he came back tired and frustrated. But he always came back in time for dinner. And Thara always made sure dinner was ready.

They continued to do so, despite both of them being busy. Also despite Thara suspecting there was something going on between Frong and Boom.

He’d already wondered about it when he’d still been sick, but to come back to work, meet Boom and hear him say “Frong is really cute. I suspected as much when I heard him on the phone, but when I saw him, I knew for sure. Why did you never tell me?” drove the point deeper.

So, Boom was interested in Frong. He’d called him cute and of course, he had been right. Frong was cute. Adorable even. He was also beautiful and dependable and funny and a menace if in the wrong mood. Frong was also perfect when holding Cupcake and Thara didn’t want to miss the sight of it at all.

Letting out a deep sigh, Thara tried to concentrate on his work again, putting on his professional smile as he went from room to room, looking after the patients.

Still, his mind wandered, wondering what could be going on between those two. What they talked about in their phone calls and why Frong was still coming back for dinner every day instead of spending time with Boom, if he actually liked him.

This question became so pressing, Thara was close to asking Frong several times. Whenever he looked especially happy, or when he once again emerged from his room after one of those phone calls.

“So, you know Boom now?”, he once dared to ask and Frong froze up before settling on a vague “Yeah” and continuing to eat.

It answered nothing and the urge to know more became an itch he was desperate to scratch. But he shouldn’t invade, should he? It was just now going well again. He should trust Frong to tell him if he’d fallen for someone again. And wasn’t Boom a good person? Wouldn’t he be a better choice than Duen? Especially since he seemed to reciprocate some of the feelings?

Thara should be happy for them, shouldn’t he? It was promising and both would deserve to be happy together. They really did and still ... Something bugged him about it. Whether it was the secrecy or the fact Frong hadn’t told him yet. Or that he still seemed to spend every free moment with Thara. It wasn’t something he would complain about, like ever, but he wondered.

Or wasn’t Frong as busy as he claimed and was instead with Boom the whole time?

The thought was like a deep cut, a punch to his stomach. Did Frong lie to him? To be with Boom?

He shouldn’t be, Thara thought with such bitter thoughts, it shook him. Frong should know he could tell him everything. He really should ...

So when Frong didn’t, what did it mean? Was he a bad senior? A bad friend? A bad roommate? A bad brother?

Suddenly the word he himself had brought into their relationship seemed wrong and confusing. As if he was slightly driving outside of the lane, always in danger of falling into the abyss, but somehow keeping upside, his thoughts and heart still racing.

“Do I even want to be his brother?”, he wondered, realising how wrong it felt.

The guilt instantly came crashing down on him. Why wouldn’t he want to be Frong’s brother? He was amazing and wonderful and deserved to be cared for. He truly did. And Thara thinking he didn’t want that was unfair. Especially since he’d recommended it. So, why? Why didn’t he want them to be brothers but had no problem caring for him as if they were? Or was it because Frong had switched everything as he’d taken care of Thara? Was that why he couldn’t see him as his younger brother again?

Cutting the carrot a bit more forceful than was probably needed, Thara wondered: What was wrong with him?

And where was Frong?

Thara had been late from work, thankfully having the day shift again, but Frong still wasn’t back. Wasn’t his last exam today? Shouldn’t he be home by now? And why was he so irritated by everything regarding Frong lately?

The vibration of his phone made him put his weapon down, giving the poor carrot a moment to relax before being tortured again.

‘We’re going out to celebrate tonight. Sorry I can’t make it’

The bad feeling in Thara’s stomach intensified, but he still replied, as understanding as possible, even if all he wanted to scream was: Come back!

‘Don’t worry. And have fun! Good night’

When he went back to the carrot again, he wondered why he was even doing this. He’d cooked for himself for years already, but right now it seemed senseless if Frong wasn’t there.

Was he really out with his friends? Were they truly drinking by themselves? Just to celebrate the end of the exam?

Thara hated himself for wondering about all of this, instead of being happy for Frong. The way he’d been in the past. Simply caring, not complicated feelings, no confusion and no worries.

He remembered the time he’d met Frong at the bar and when the man had been so drunk, he’d run against a sign. It had been adorable and cute and he’d been happy to be there, to see a new side of Frong, but also to be the one to protect him.

And now? Frong was a terrible drunk. Would his friends be able to take care of him? Would he come back home safely?

In the end, Thara ate the carrot and the rice he’d already cooked, everything else seeming senseless to him without Frong by his side.

~~~

When the door was opened late at night, Thara was still awake. Of course, he was still awake. He’d checked his phone several times, waiting for Frong to call or text him, ask him to get him to confess his feelings for Boom in any way. He’d waited for something, but he hadn’t expected to hear two voices in the hallway.

The speed with which he was out of his room was astonishing and even though it was only a short distance, he was still out of breath.

Whoever was with Frong, they had turned on the light and were supporting Frong who didn’t seem very sure on his legs, his eyes unfocused as he looked around the room.  
Whoever was with Frong was almost carrying him, his hands having a secure and tight grip on Frong’s waist, making heat pool in Thara’s stomach.  
Whoever was with Frong ... was Boom.

The realisation was like a cold shower. They had been out together?

“Oh, Thara!”

Boom smiled at him as if he didn’t know what was going on inside of Thara. How much Thara despised him right now, although he hadn’t even done anything. Had they been out together? Had Frong kept it a secret? Why?

Seeing the way Frong slowly slid off Boom’s shoulder, Thara quickly stepped forward to catch him, once more.

“What happened?”

Now, Frong’s head was lying on Thara’s shoulder and he tried to ignore the soft breath caressing the skin of his neck.

“He drank too much and I brought him back.”

Boom smiled and Thara instantly knew he was hiding something. He hadn’t done anything to Frong, had he? At least it didn’t seem so and he hoped his judgment wasn’t as bad as this when it came to people.

“Thank you”, he said instead, not wanting to open any boxes he wasn’t ready for at 3 am.

“Didn’t know he lived with you, though”, Boom said with a strange calmness when they had brought Frong into his room.

“It’s because his home had water damage”, Thara said almost defensively.

He didn’t want Boom to get the wrong idea. Especially when Frong hadn’t told him beforehand. Especially when they were involved. The image was like biting into a lemon. Thara didn’t like it.

“You’re close with the family?”

“His mother was one of my patients. Do you remember? Frong was at the hospital as well.”

“Ah”, Boom’s smile grew wider, “That’s why he seemed so familiar. So, he’ll move out once that’s managed?”

Thara swallowed, the thought of Frong leaving like a bitter pill he had to take. He couldn’t really do anything against it, could he?

“I guess so.”

Boom nodded as if he understood anything about the situation. As if he had any idea about the relationship between Thara and Frong. As if he had a right to be a part of it.  
And the worst was: maybe he had a right.

Thara knew his colleague and friend didn’t deserve all those thoughts, all the frustration he was sending his way. But it took all his self-control not to push him out right now. Not to ask him about his feelings for Frong. Not to demand an explanation.

Because he didn’t have the right. The realisation was painful, but it was there.

“Well then”, Boom started, moving closer to the door, “I’ll be on my way. Please give my greetings to Frong in the morning. I hope his hangover won’t be too bad.”

“I will”, Thara managed through gritted teeth and somehow he was able to lift his hand and wave goodbye.

As if! Should he tell Frong also how much Boom had helped him? How much he loved him?

Realising he was more than overdramatic, Thara tried to calm down. He was sleep-deprived and he had been worried. And now his colleague and friend had accompanied Frong home which had opened a can of questions for him. But it was still no reason for Thara to panic or be mean to his friend. Or make up his own reality instead of listening to the men themselves.

With a sigh, he went to Frong’s room to check up on him. He wouldn’t be able to stop worrying otherwise. At least he was already home, so Thara could do it, instead of being away with strangers and Thara being unable to help.

Frong was splayed out on his bed, holding his hands in front of him as if he was counting his fingers. Or something else, using his fingers instead. Whatever it was, he stopped as soon as Thara entered the room, squinting at him before lifting himself until he was propped up on his elbows.

The sight of Frong, with his loose shirt wide open, looking at him through half-lidded eyes while lying on his bed did something to Thara. Something almost hot and painful as he became aware of how much he liked the sight in front of him. How guilty it made him feel at the same time and how greedy he became in an instant. How he wanted to continue seeing this man like this, but being the only one to do so.

Thara had never had a problem with sharing, even with Cupcake and his own home, but Frong? The desire to keep him close was burning in his veins and he had no idea to handle it. How to soothe the flames and go back. Back to his former self. Back to being calm and collected and light-hearted and funny.

“What are you doing here?”

Taking in a shaky breath, Thara slowly came closer to the bed.

“I’m checking up on you.”

“No need to”, Frong’s voice was defensive, but Thara kept going until he was standing right in front of the bed, making Frong look up even more. A sight he should cherish, Thara realised, the heat returning with full force. A sight to remember in case he would never be able to see him like this again.

“I know how you are when you’re drunk”, he replied as steady as possible and Frong snorted, “I just want to make sure you’re okay. At least there’s no sign near you right now.”

Finally, some tension left Frong’s body and he started laughing, letting himself fall backwards onto the bed.

Carefully, as if he wasn’t sure if he was welcome, Thara sat next to Frong and watched him giggle. It was a way better look on him than the defensiveness and aggression. And he still seemed to have his wits together, despite his drunken state.

Realising Thara was still there, Frong slowly stopped his laughter and pushed himself into an upright position.

“You really don’t have to.”

His tone was softer now, tired and a bit careful. If Thara heard it right. It hadn’t been so easy to read Frong lately though.

“But I want to make sure you’re okay. Can I get you something to drink? You need help undressing?”

The instant panic in Frong’s eyes made Thara wish he hadn’t said it. Frong wasn’t as helpless as he had been. He could do it alone. He really could, couldn’t he?

“Sorry, I ... I simply think you should change your clothes before going to bed. You reek of alcohol and smoke.”

“I didn’t smoke”, Frong grumbled, his eyes downcast and his hands curled into fists, lying on his knees.

“I didn’t think you would”, hell, Thara really said all the wrong things again, didn’t he?

“I simply think you would feel better in fresh clothes.”

Slowly, Frong lifted his eyes again, letting out a deep sigh as if to calm himself, before trying some kind of a smile. Thara could still see something in his eyes. Some kind of question and desperation, but maybe it was only the alcohol or the exhaustion.

Or his feelings for Boom, his brain provided without being asked.

To distract himself and maybe to spite Boom just a tiny bit in his mind, Thara leaned closer to Frong and touched his forehead. Just to make sure he wasn’t burning up. Just to make sure ...

Frong’s eyes widened, his smile vanished and had his cheeks been warm before, they were burning now. For a second Thara forgot how to breathe, the sight squeezing his heart as if it should be crushed.

Slowly, jerkily, Thara took his hand back, wondering what he’d even been thinking.

“I”, he coughed, “I think you need something to drink. Water maybe. I’ll get you ...”

Before he could even finish, fingers were grabbing his chin and his neck, pulling him against chapped and frantic lips, Frong’s whole body a shaking mess. For a short moment, he stared his brain not able to understand what was going on and the sight before him too amazing, too unbelievable to be true before his instinct kicked in.

Not the instinct to draw back and stop Frong who was clearly drunk, but the instinct to kiss back, to deepen the kiss and let himself be pulled closer. The instinct to close his eyes to intensify the sensation and to hold onto Frong himself, his fingers digging into the fabric of Frong’s shirt, his waist. To feel the man beneath the clothes, his radiating heat and knowing this was real. This was happening. This was ...

A soft moan escaped Frong, probably thanks to the gentle bite Thara had given his bottom lip and it made Thara yearn for more. More of this, more of those touches, of those beautiful sounds Frong made. More of feeling Frong so close he didn’t know any longer whose heartbeat he felt.

He wanted Frong.

It was a scary thought.

It was scary and wrong and weird and he shouldn’t feel it. He should be the responsible senior, the one taking a step back, the one holding Frong back who was clearly drunk and who’d never been known for being especially sensible while being drunk and ... Boom.

The thought of his colleague made Thara pull back in a split-second, leaving Frong confused, his eyes only half-open and unfocused, his hair tousled and his shirt rumpled.

That had been him, Thara realised. This had all been him and he’d shamelessly done it to Frong who was drunk and his junior and who he’d called brother and who trusted him or had trusted him because no way in hell could he still ...

But Frong had kissed him first, hadn’t he? Shouldn’t that mean he wanted it? Or had he mistaken him for Boom? Or for someone else completely? Or had it been a drunk reaction because Thara had been there?

“Wha ...”

Frong was swaying, his gaze only slightly more focused than a moment before and Thara knew he’d done the right thing to pull back. Regardless of his wish to go back into the embrace, to kiss those lips again and run his fingers through Frong’s hair. It had been the right choice.

“I ... uh ... I’ll get something to drink.”

And he went out of the door in a flash, not looking back. And when he came back with a bottle of water, a bit later than might have been necessary, Frong was buried under his blanket already, his back turned towards the door, his room in complete darkness.

Rather awkwardly, Thara stood in the entrance for a moment, staring at Frong’s dark hair on the pillow, making him wish he could simply lie down behind Frong and hug him, his face buried in Frong’s neck.

But the position was plain. Either Frong was already asleep, or he didn’t want to talk to Thara anymore for the night. He simply hoped he hadn’t destroyed it all.

Carefully, he put the bottle beside the bed, before tiptoeing out of the room.

“I am sorry”, he whispered before he closed the door, not knowing if he wanted Frong to hear it or not.

~~~

Staring at the dark wall in front of him for hours as he’d slowly gotten soberer, had been excruciating. He’d been shivering as if he was on withdrawal, his tears long dried and his eyes bleary and burning. He’d still kept them open as if closing them was some kind of defeat.

There he’d gone, daring to follow his feelings once more, even if pushed by the alcohol and what had happened? He’d been rejected once more. Which was now twice by the same guy. A guy he simply couldn’t stop loving, no matter how much he wanted.

He hadn’t planned to kiss Thara. Definitely not. But it had happened and it had been wonderful and delicious and addicting and ... the worst. Even as drunk as he’d been, if he’d known how it would end, he wouldn’t have done it.

The only question which stayed, even after hearing Thara’s stupid apology, was ‘Why had Thara kissed him back in the first place?’

Had it been pity? Had he been needy? Or was this the way he always responded to people kissing him? Had it been kindness? Or did he actually like Frong?

But if so, why had he pulled back?

When morning came, Frong was exhausted, but also calmer. If this was the final rejection, so be it. If his mind didn’t realise it should let go of his crush now, there was no helping anymore.

His former plan of moving out came back into his mind. Should he do it now? Search for something and pull back? Or enjoy his last remaining days with Thara? What did he want?

What he knew was, that seeing Thara again would be painful. Living in the same apartment would be painful. Experiencing his attention and care would be painful.

And not being here with him would also be painful.

He had tried pulling back and avoiding Thara. He had tried spending as much time as possible with Thara. He had tried to fucking read Thara’s mind even.

Having now experienced two rejections by the same guy and three in total in only two months, he truly didn’t want to put himself out there again. If no one wanted him, he’d get used to it. Because apparently, he had to.

Thinking back to his talk with Boom, Frong sighed and turned under the blanket, finally letting go of the tension and the fear of Thara coming back.

He’d been drunk enough to spill the beans, but not drunk enough to forget the whole encounter. And now Boom knew about his horrible crush on Thara and even though he’d promised not to say anything, Frong was still nervous about it.

What would happen?  
What could happen?

And was he ever supposed to drink alcohol again?

But, he admitted, it had been nice to talk to someone. To finally tell someone about his feelings. However fucked up everything might be right now.

~~~

The first time they met again, the awkwardness was almost too much.

Thara asking him how he was in a whisper was almost too much for Frong. Besides the words also being too silent for him to properly hear them over his own racing heart.

“I have a headache”, Frong mumbled as he got something to drink.

For a moment he thought Thara might check his temperature again, but the man held himself weirdly still, his eyes almost unnaturally focused on Frong’s shoulder.

So at least he wasn’t brushing it off as if nothing had happened. At least it had been weird and special for Thara as well. At least he wasn’t called ‘brother’ again ...

“I’ll go to bed again”, he mumbled again as he turned to walk away and all Thara did was nod.

Except right before he left, Thara cleared his throat and Frong stopped immediately. He didn’t turn, but he couldn’t have moved on, even if he’d wanted.

“Boom called ... to ask how you are. Apparently, he didn’t reach you on your phone.”

Frong hadn’t even looked at his phone yet, not ready for any conversations at all.

“Uh, okay. Thanks.”

To be told by Thara about another guy was weird. Especially if the one in question was Boom. But Frong had been talking to him lately, enjoying the easy way they’d clicked as well as finally not falling for someone he was close to. So it seemed kind of natural Thara would tell him.

“Maybe call him back, so he doesn’t have to worry.”

“Okay”, Frong answered to get away as fast as possible, Thara’s gaze still on him as he left the kitchen.

Once he was back in his room, he instantly buried himself under the blankets again, not even thinking of calling Boom. This day was only to wallow in self-pity, nothing else.

Their interactions got slowly less awkward, even though there still seemed to be this kind of wall between them. A wall, which Frong had put there himself earlier, but now it was Thara as well. He was still caring and he was still smiling, but there was always some kind of distance between them. Physically and emotionally. He held himself back where he would have gotten closer in the past and his smile always seemed a bit off.

Frong knew Thara liked him. At least like a little brother. So it was no mean smile, but an awkward one. As if he was still trying to combine the kiss with his actual feelings towards Frong. Feelings, which might be unknown to both of them.

Once again, Frong searched for new apartments nearby, but he realised quickly how little his motivation actually was. May it be because of the mess such a search would present or because he didn’t want to go. Not really.

Holding Cupcake close to his face, he sighed: “Your owner truly isn’t easy, you know? But I can’t leave him alone as well.”

Cupcake closed her eyes as if she didn’t care as long as she got her cuddles. Frong stared at his laptop for a few seconds longer, because closing it again. He continued to scratch Cupcake and smiled at the obvious enjoyment.

“I definitely can’t leave you alone, you’re right.”

~~~

Somehow, despite all the awkwardness and all the distance between them, they got used to each other again. Frong might be spending a bit more time than necessary at university and meeting up with Boom every few days, but he was always happy to get back home. Either to wait for Thara or to be awaited. They still tried to eat together, no matter the silence, no matter the hidden glances and careful movements.

It was as if only one word could make the whole building, which was their friendship, crumble down. And neither of them wanted it.

At least, Frong thought, Thara hadn’t kicked him out because of the kiss. He hadn’t asked, after all. And Thara could have been angry and he would have had every right to be, but he wasn’t. He was hard to read most of the time, but Frong was sure he wasn’t angry.

It was as if they were having a truce, but no one knew the rules about it. The only thing they knew, was that no one should say anything about the kiss.

“He’s been weird since that night”, Boom said once they sat down for some ice cream.

“He’s been weird to me as well”, Frong grumbled, “And he’s an overall weird man.”

“Which makes you one as well for crushing on him.”

“Fuck off!”

“No chance, I want my ice cream and all the news.”

“There is no news”, Frong snapped as he looked up into the face of an overly happy man, “He’s making me dinner as usual, but he keeps his distance. We’re managing somehow, but something is working in this strange mind of his.”

“You don’t want to move out?”

“I thought about it, but I apparently lack the last push. Which this fucked up night should have been.”

He had told Boom. Rather out of desperation than rationality, but he’d told him.

“This fucked up night also gave you hope, so no wonder it wasn’t the last push.”

“But shouldn’t there be a last point sometimes? This moment to say it’s been enough and I won’t risk a third rejection?”

Boom shrugged: “You can always come and live with me if you want to. There’s still space.”

Frong squinted at Boom, but the man laughed: “Don’t worry. You’re cute but way too fierce for me!”

“Thank you”, Frong sighed while rolling his eyes, “I truly needed another rejection!”

“You would have quartered me if I’d tried anything.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. Although Frong sometimes wished he could simply be with someone. No strong feelings, no drama, just being together for some time and then stop it.

“Would you be up for a kiss?”, he wondered, not knowing how to respond if the answer was ‘Yes’.

Boom stared at him with one lifted eyebrow, making Frong rather envious.

“Go get your final rejection from Thara and then we can talk about it.”

“You think I can’t handle it?”

“I”, Boom said surprisingly serious, “Think I’ll be rather quartered by Thara himself if I let you stick your tongue in my mouth.”

Choking on his ice cream, Frong couldn’t but laugh: “You think he’s jealous?”

And there the eyebrow was again, perfectly arched.

“You wanna bet?”

~~~

It was the quiet before the storm. Or was the storm already in full force?

Thara wasn’t sure, but he tried to keep a low profile non the less. Take whatever time he could with Frong and enjoy it without expecting more. Trying to control his jealousy, even when Frong told him about Boom. About Boom and their dates.

Or even worse: listening to Boom and his tales about the same dates. Because while Frong only talked rather neutral about it, Boom was full of awe and love. Whenever they had a chance to talk, Boom would gush about how cute Frong was and how he’d looked and acted and what he’d said and how funny he was and ... Thara was close to ripping him a new one and he’d never be a violent one. Never until Boom. Or Frong, because Frong was the root of the problem, wasn’t he? No, it was Thara himself who wasn’t able to wish his friends happiness together. Instead, he was grumpy and irritated and the parking spots around the campus had never been as clean as now.

Still, despite apparently dating Boom and having a lot of projects, Frong came home as soon as possible, eating dinner with a smile on his face. He would cuddle Cupcake and ask Thara how his day had been. When he would be home earlier than Thara, he would also cook and clean. One day, Thara had come home to Frong sleeping on the sofa, Cupcake on his chest and the remote for the TV in one of his hands.

Thara knew he would never be able to look at this picture with anyone around him, but when he was alone at night, he would stare at it, wondering what could have been.

It was still weird between them, mostly because Thara was keeping his distance, trying to tell his body this dream of his wouldn’t happen. There was no use in yearning and wishing and hoping. Sadly, his body didn’t take the memo and made it even harder to resist instead.

And so he continued to tell himself he should be glad his friends were happy. Didn’t he want Frong to be in love? And Boom?

But why did it seem as if Frong wasn’t exactly that? Happy? Why was he still having mood changes from time to time, seemingly without reason? Why did it seem as if there was some sadness inside of him? One which Boom wasn’t able to charm away?

The question was like an itch to be scratched and Thara kept his eye open for any signs of it. Or any signs for the opposite. But whenever he thought he might have seen one, he wondered if it was just his own jealousy, which made him see it.

So once again, he was the root of his own problems, without a way out.

He sighed as he opened the door, fully expecting the flat to be empty. But it wasn’t. There was rustling to be heard and Frong’s shoes were at the entrance, neatly put on the ground.

“Frong?”

“Just one second!”

Frong sounded so happy, it almost made Thara frown. It was such a change, that he needed a moment to be happy for Frong, whatever the reason was.

Rather tired because of an exhausting day, he put all his stuff down and washed up. Coming back into the living room with a new set of loose and comfortable clothes, Frong was still nowhere to be seen.

“That’s more than a second”, he said loudly into the room, almost feeling like his past self as he grinned.

“Ha ha”, Frong’s dry voice made him turn in surprise, “It’s just been a very long second. Time is subjective.”

Thara would have liked to roll his eyes or to laugh at Frong with the light amusement he’d felt seconds later, but he couldn’t. Instead, he was staring, his mouth probably agape and his eyes wide, his heartbeat racing in his throat.

Frong was dressed in a black suit, the neckline so deep, Thara didn’t know if there was any at all or if the jacket was all he was wearing. Two slim, silver necklaces were around his throat, perfectly paired with the long earring he was wearing. A kind of combination which Thara had never seen Frong with. A combination which made all the efforts of the past two weeks vanish in an instant, being replaced by a pooling heat in his stomach and a yearning so strong, he could barely keep himself back.

No, that wasn’t true. He was in complete control of himself, but his whole body was vibrating with all the want and pining and wonder. Frong was always beautiful, from the tip of his hair to his smile and the way he moved.

This? This was pure seduction. A king between peasants, a god on earth. Once again, Thara knew he may bit a tad overdramatic, but he didn’t care.

“What do you say?”

“Hu?”

Frong smoothed down any non-existent wrinkles, a slight frown on his beautiful face.

“I have a function at the faculty tonight and we were told to dress up. Does it fit?”

If it fit?  
Thara was sure he was close to short circuit as he stared at the man he’d come to fall for. Because that was what it was, wasn’t it? He wasn’t just needy and confused. He didn’t want to be his brother or just his friend, but he had fallen in love with this man.

It didn’t come as a surprise. He’d already known, kind of. But to have the full, final realisation when Frong was standing in front of him, dressed like this? He didn’t know what to do ...

“Is something wrong about it?”

“No! I mean”, he coughed, “You look amazing.”

Frong stared and Thara wondered if he’d said something wrong again.

“Seriously?”

“Why would I lie to you?”, Thara tried an amused smile, even though he could barely hear anything over the top of his racing heart, “The suit fits you perfectly. You look astonishing, really. You completely took me by surprise, because I have never seen you like this. It’s a good look on you. You’ll be the star of the night.”

The change from confident Frong to shy Frong was instant. His cheeks darkened and he lifted his hand to scratch his neck, his eyes wandering around frantically. Had Thara’s comment really made him so nervous?

Thara stepped forward.

“I ... uh, thank you. A simple ‘it’s okay’ would have sufficed.”

Something akin to confidence re-entered Thara’s mind and he felt himself smile. For real.

“It truly wouldn’t have sufficed. It would have been an understatement and I wouldn’t have been able to bear it. Because you do look amazing. This style suits you a lot.”

Frong did some more frantic stroking of his neck as if he could stop the blush from spreading this way. If anything, it got worse.

“Thank you?”

“It’s the truth”, Thara shrugged, even though his own nervousness was battling his spontaneous confidence.

His reply was a soft, shy smile and it was like a fist to the stomach. Except he would have loved to continue seeing it. The next hour, the whole night, this year.

Knowing Frong had to go didn’t keep him from hoping he’d be able to make him smile like this again. Hoping, as if it was an ancient practice he had forgotten.

For a few moments, they looked at each other, smiling in a comfortable way they hadn’t done for quite some time.

The vibration of Frong’s phone broke them out of whatever daze they had been into.

“I have to go”, Frong mumbled, keeping the eye contact.

“Have fun”, it would have taken an army to make Thara turn away, even when Frong took his stuff and moved to the door.

“Thank you.”

Frong stopped at the door again and for a split second, Thara wondered if he should hold him back. If this could be a moment.

But he didn’t. Instead, he called out once more, just as Frong opened the door: “Call me if you need a ride home.”

Frong laughed, his cheeks still darker thanks to the blush: “I know your kind of ride, but thank you!”

And with this, he was gone. He was gone, leaving a breathless Thara, whose complete world had just been shaken to the core. Would he ever recover? He didn’t think so.

His legs were rather weak as he finally dragged himself into the kitchen to cook some dinner, his thoughts still with Frong and his damn neckline, his soft smile and his nervous fingers.

Memories of the kiss came rushing back, as vivid as if it had been five minutes ago. As if they were used to kissing like this. As if they had never stopped.

But they had and all he had left was to remember. To remember and to hope. Because there had been this tiny spark today, those few minutes of them being back in their own little world, without all the awkwardness and distance.

After spending dinner with his mind in a whirlwind, Thara felt rather restless. He got Cupcake out of her terrarium, even though she didn’t seem interested in moving a lot and settled onto his belly.  
He took a picture of her to upload it to his Instagram, which was the only reason he used this account. Scrolling through social media had always rather irritated him instead of pulling him in, but after uploading the picture, he did exactly that.

Maybe because he was bored or maybe because he didn’t want to think too much about what had happened just now.

But of course, it had been a mistake. He should have known it was one.

Because there he was.  
Boom.  
Smiling.  
His arm around Frong in his suit.  
This suit. Which he had asked Thara’s opinion about.  
Both of them looking stupidly happy.  
As if they had just found a treasure.  
And maybe they had.

The title: ‘Being out with the most beautiful man tonight.’

The spark of hope vanished. Instead, dread settled in his stomach. Cold, hard dread. And it wouldn’t go away.

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please let me know if you like it =^^=


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments and your support and for everyone who enjoyed this fic so far =^^=
> 
> Have fun!

Chapter 4

„What do you think will happen?“

Frong was nervous, so damn nervous. The picture, the caption, the way his heartbeat seemed close to break through his ribcage any moment. The insecurity if Thara would even see it. And how would he react to it?

Boom grinned at the picture he had just uploaded before turning back to Frong.

“We don’t know. But I am pretty sure he will react somehow.”

“And what if he ignores it? Because he doesn’t care? Or if he congratulates me?”

Boom’s eyebrows rose as if there was no end to his forehead.

“If he actually acknowledges it and congratulates you, it’s actually perfect.”

“Why should that be perfect?”

Boom seemed so calm and Frong was sure he didn’t know what was at stake. His love, his hope, his life even!

A hand ruffling through his hair, brought him down a bit, despite it also ruining his perfect style. He pushed Boom’s arm away who only laughed.

“Because his instant thought is ‘they’re together’ and not ‘oh, friends’. Believe me when I say he’s been jealous for some time now and he will react. Maybe not with a fit of rage or jealousy, but it will change things and you can ask him why.”

“Ask him?”

There was nothing Frong didn’t want to do less than asking Thara about his feelings. For a second he thought back to their moment earlier, which had felt loaded with feelings and tension and for one spark of hope, he had wondered if Thara would say something, hold him back, kiss him again, maybe.

Should he have stayed? Or would he have made it worse? Awkward and weird? Hopeless once more?  
He wanted Thara to make the next step. Needed him to do it, actually since he didn’t know if he was able to survive another rejection. A direct hit even.

“If you guys would simply talk, the whole chaos probably wouldn’t exist, I swear!”

“Then why are you helping me?”

“Because I like both of you and Thara needs this extra kick to finally do something. He can’t just stand there and act pretty, not daring to lose another one.”

“Oh”, Frong felt his blood leaving his head and the world around him started to sway, “I didn’t think about that.”

He had always had the urge and need to be in contact with other people, so they wouldn’t leave him. To find someone who would stay, but for Thara it was different. He had those walls up and maybe he didn’t even want anyone to come close?

“Don’t draw the wrong conclusion!”, Boom pushed him lightly, “Thara isn’t against having someone in his life, he’s just very careful. Believe me, he has let you in deeper already than most.”

Frong gulped, not knowing what to think any longer. Did he stress Thara? Or was it the right thing? Or did Thara still think of him as ...

A pull into Boom’s arms jerked him out of his thoughts.

“Stop overthinking. And now let’s take a few more pictures so I can boast about having such a beautiful man by my side.”

“Didn’t you already?”

And still, Frong grinned at the camera, still slightly tense.

“They will all think I photoshopped you into it. So I definitely need more proof!”

This drew a laugh out of Frong and he started to feel more comfortable, posing the way he knew. They did this to push his and Thara’s relationship further, but he could still have some fun doing it.

“Don’t you dare call me brother afterward”, he mumbled and had the satisfaction of Boom almost toppling over from laughter.

He was hilarious, after all.

~~~

Several pictures and hours later, Frong arrived back at the flat, his heart once more in his throat. He had been able to be distracted, even to enjoy the function as much as it was possible, but all that vanished in an instant.

It was late and he didn’t even know if Thara was still awake. Would he wait for him or had he gone to bed, not caring about anything?

The fact that Thara had actually liked the picture, had been almost enough for Frong’s heart to explode. So, Thara knew about it. And he had decided to acknowledge it. Why? What was behind it?

And what did it mean when Frong entered the flat and it was dark, no lights on, not even the one they had started to turn on if one of them was out till late. Had Thara forgotten? Was it some kind of revenge? Or had he been sure Frong wouldn’t come home?

The insecurity of it all hurt and Frong wished he hadn’t done it. Hadn’t let Boom persuade him to try this approach. They could have stayed in this awkward situation until Frong was ready to move out again and forget about his crush. He’d been able to get over Duen as well, so Thara shouldn’t pose a problem.

Instead, he was freaking out and he would still be freaking out the next day, he was sure of it.

With a deep sigh and controlling the urge to either run away or storm into Thara’s room to explain everything, Frong washed up and went to bed. All the time listening in if he was able to hear something, someone. But everything was quiet, not even the creaking of a bed was to be heard until he was in bed. He couldn’t even imagine falling asleep, but apparently he was exhausted from all those emotions. Shortly after his head hit the pillow, he was dreaming already.

~~~

Waking up because of a sore throat and his bladder helped for running out of his room, into the bathroom and then stumbling into the kitchen for some water. He should have thought of taking a bottle with him at night, but he hadn’t had any energy left.

Standing at the sink, trying to collect his wits while being in his underwear, he suddenly had a weird feeling, right before he heard Thara’s cough. Slowly turning, he saw the man, sitting at the table and looking at him in an almost helpless open way. But before Frong could process what he was seeing, Thara looked to the side, over Frong’s shoulder, at his breakfast. Everywhere but at Frong himself.

Frong wasn’t ready. He had never been ready.

“Good morning.”

It took a few moments until Frong was sure he could produce sounds.

“Morning.”

“Are you okay?”

“Thirsty”, Frong mumbled, still trying to collect his wits.

Something strange went on with Thara’s face for a second, before it went back to being blank, only a polite smile being seen.

They stared. Frong at Thara and Thara at Frong’s nose? His shoulder? No, he had tried that, but he’d lifted his gaze instantly again.  
Boom’s words in his mind, he knew that was the change the man had promised. But he still had no idea what it meant.

Another cough and Thara finally made eye contact again: “Is Boom still in your room?”

Frong stared.  
Then he left.

~~~

Thara had tried, okay? He had tried to keep it down, to find a polite way to ask what was gong on. If it was real. Although it probably was, wasn’t it? With this picture? The way the had hugged? The pictures which had been uploaded afterward? The way Frong had actually dressed for Boom?

He still didn’t know what was worst and he had prepared himself for all of it. At least he had thought so.

He had gone to bed early, not waiting for Frong, but leaving his phone on, in case he needed someone to get him. Besides Boom. He had also turned off the small lamp outside, so he wouldn’t stare at the light beneath his door the whole night, wondering how long it would shine.

Hearing someone come home had been a relief. Not for long, but at first. Then he’d wondered if someone else was with Frong, if he was alone or not.

Someone else. He knew exactly who would be with Frong and it didn’t make anything better. A one night stand would have hurt, but to think it might be Frong’s actual boyfriend? Boom of all people? Only Duen would have been worse.

Frong storming into the kitchen, only in his boxers, to drink, had been a shock. It was as if some phantom had become real, appearing right in front of him in a way he had equally wanted and feared.

His eyes had been glued to Frong, watching him, his gaze wandering over his chest, his body as if he could see any signs left. The need to take those few steps and push Frong against the sink, kiss him until he couldn’t think of anyone else besides Thara, was almost overwhelming. Overwhelming and out of character. Since when did he want to do such things? Since Frong had moved in, so much was clear. Why was it so difficult to step back and think of Frong like a friend? Without the wish to kiss him? The wish to be the only one to kiss him?

Realizing where his mind was wandering, Thara had coughed, trying to get back online. Back behind the line which he shouldn’t overstep. Especially now.

Frong had tensed and turned, making eye contact for one horrible, beautiful moment before Thara had turned away, wondering if he could survive never looking Frong in the eyes ever again. Because that was what he needed to have a clear thought, speak a clear sentence, ask a normal question.

Except “Is Boom still in your room” wasn’t a normal question, was it? Neither normal nor appropriate and he’d blurted it out, his mind blank after wondering what could have led to Frong being so damn thirsty in the morning. Funny how he hadn’t thought of the normal solution in his desperate attempt to protect himself while also knowing. Knowing what was going on and scratching this damn, horrible itch.

Running away without an answer had been the right response, Thara knew. He deserved to be ignored and ... he had fucked up. Majestically, horribly, terribly.

With a groan, Thara let his drop into his hands, wishing he could simply turn back time to take those words away, swallow them and say nothing else besides “congratulations” with a smile. An honest smile, because he wanted Frong to be happy, didn’t he? Insulting him like that, assuming he had brought Boom with him without asking the important questions first, wasn’t the way to make him happy.  
His junior.  
His friend.  
His b...

His love.

So what should he do now? Let it all cool down? Pretend it never happened? No, that didn’t sit right with him. He wanted to make it right. To support Frong however he could. Even if it meant denying himself the one thing he wanted right now.

Pushing himself up, Thara slowly walked towards Frong’s room, his fingers twitching and tensing, his shoulders pulled up.

There were no other shoes at the entrance, no jacket and whatever else Boom could have left. It didn’t mean the man wasn’t here, but the chances were very slim.

Which meant he was an idiot.

Carefully, he knocked against the door, but no one answered. If Frong was packing right now, Thara wouldn’t be blaming him. But he would still try to stop him. For their friendship.

“Frong?”

Still no answer.

“I am sorry.”

Still no answer.

“I spoke without thinking first and if you hate me right now, I absolutely understand it. You should still know that I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want to shame you or assume anything. I am sorry if I got it all wrong and you have every right to be angry at me.”

This time he waited longer, listening for anything. A noise, a voice, a sound. But nothing. Had Frong gone to the bathroom instead? He couldn’t have left the flat half-naked, could he? Or was he ignoring Thara now with all he got?

“I ... I would really like to apologize to your face. Can I come in?”

He promised to wait for a few minutes. Maybe two or maybe five. Maybe ten or thirty, he didn’t care. If only Frong wouldn’t push him away completely, give him one last chance to have him in his life.

“Okay.”

It was rather quiet, but not quiet enough and Thara, who had expected to spend the next hours on the floor, almost fell into the room, out of breath despite standing still.

He stared at Frong, who was sitting on his bed, legs pulled close and Cupcake in his arms like the emotional support she was. And even she seemed to judge Thara.

At least, he realized with a pang of guilt and relief, Boom was nowhere to be seen.

“He’s not here.”

“Uh ...”

Maybe he should drop the topic altogether, so he could avoid stepping into another hell hole. And who wanted to talk about Boom anyway? Frong would tell him if he was ready, wouldn’t he?

“I am sorry”, he once again said, trying to keep the eye contact until Frong broke it off and leaned back with a sigh.

“You insulted me. First thing in the morning.”

“I didn’t intend for it to be an insult”, Thara winced, knowing his jealousy was the only reason he had blurted this shit out.

Frong’s lifted eyebrow made him continue though. At least he was still allowed in the room.

“I didn’t think it through and obviously wasn’t properly awake yet and also confused ...”

Here, Thara trailed off, realizing he was once again closing in on a dangerous area. He couldn’t just say “I wasn’t sure if you were at home at all” after he had said the shit he’d let out before.

Once again, he wasn’t sure what Frong was feeling or thinking, his stare a wild mixture of emotions and exhaustion. The man had come home late, had barely slept and all Thara had done was insult him.

“Sorry”, he mumbled once more and wondered if he could say something else, “You came home late, didn’t sleep much and I’m here, making you uncomfortable. I ... I should go and let you get some sleep.”

Something like helplessness was visible now, even for Thara and he wondered what he could do or say to make it better. Outside of vanishing.

“So you knew?”

“What?”

“When I came back?”

Thara swallowed, trying to produce more spit, his mouth feeling too dry to speak suddenly.

“I woke up when I heard the door, but I was still half asleep.”

Well, at least it wasn’t a whole lie. But admitting he had been waiting for Frong the whole time, despite not wanting exactly that? He couldn’t.

The hopelessness changed into determination and for a moment, Frong stared at Cupcake, who was chilling in his arms, happy and content. When he looked up again, his gaze sent a shiver down Thara’s back.

“You are sorry? Honestly?”

Thara nodded.

“You know I haven’t slept much.”

Another nod.

“And I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.”

Something akin to hope was blooming in his chest. It wasn’t the kind of “he feels the same”, but rather the kind of “he won’t move out today”.

“You want me to make some?”

Frong nodded, still looking stern and slightly bossy with Cupcake on his arms.

“Fried Rice?”

Thara dropped the “your majesty”, hoping their relationship would one day be strong enough so he could make the joke.

“You know my taste.”

This was as much of an admission as possible and Thara felt himself smile. Yes, he knew Frong’s taste. He knew what he liked and didn’t like and yes, he could cook the best breakfast for him.

“I do”, he turned to go, but Frong’s voice stopped him.

“It doesn’t mean I forgive you, but for now I’m too tired to fight.”

Thara smiled again. For real this time.

“Thank you.”

~~~

Breakfast was awkward but not silent. After trying a few innocent topics and being accepted, Thara started rambling, telling Frong about work and what he had learned and what rumors were going around the hospital once more. Frong let him, enjoying the moment of rest and distraction.

He had wondered, shortly, if he should ask Thara for more. Why he cared, why he had reacted like that. But he was tired and not ready for such a conversation. Especially when there was still this chance of being rejected. Better be mentally prepared instead of being dehydrated, exhausted, and stressed.

Instead, he made Thara cook and clean and entertain him, watching the man closely the whole time. Sometimes he was able to look at Frong, as if he had almost forgotten what had happened earlier. Sometimes his gaze was firmly locked on Frong’s nose or a spot slightly beside him.

Was that the reaction Boom had talked about? It had to be, didn’t it? Should he tell Boom later? He probably wanted to know, did he?

Till then, Frong enjoyed listening to Thara’s rambles, the amusement in his eyes, and how he slowly and carefully got back to being a bit more normal and confident.

”... and now she demands a new flower every day so she can learn the smell and be able to recognize it. The way she has improved since then is amazing. Even her grandchildren bring her plants and flowers now...”

”... did you know babies are born without knee caps? Somehow I always imagined they were there from the beginning. But apparently not. Sadly we didn’t go into detail of what might all be possible without knee caps then ...”

”... then I told him that we drop around 2.5 drops of saliva with every word and since he had given me such a speech earlier, he had delighted us all with approximately 900 drops of saliva, making it very necessary to wear a mask, since he spitted them mostly at his grandfather who has almost no immune system ...”

”... Duen didn’t know he didn’t have a ticket yet. Apparently everyone in his family had been sure someone else would do it and Duen had never gotten a train ticket himself ...”

A giggle escaped Frong and for a moment, Thara almost looked proud of himself, beaming at Frong as if he’d given him the sun and the moon. Or maybe he always looked like that when his stories weren’t met with complete confusion.  
It was a bit too late for that, Frong thought. He’d left the stage of confusion behind himself and had entered the one of adoration and amusement. Okay, he hadn’t left every confusion behind, but at least the one regarding Thara’s stories and wild behavior.

“Duen never got a train ticket himself?”

Thara shook his head: “My cousin is a tiny bit spoiled, I fear.”

“Poor Bohn”, Frong laughed, remembering so many moments of bewilderment on the other man’s face, “He must be going crazy.”

“At least in those moments he’s a saint, I tell you.”

It was weird knowing Thara had seen Duen and Bohn more often. Talking about his former crush was almost devoid of emotion now. Except maybe relief, because he wouldn’t have been able to be patient then. Probably. Maybe.  
Looking at Thara again, who continued to tell the tale, he knew he would have been patient for Duen as well. If his feelings had survived.

The ringing of the bell made both of them look up, their little bubble gone in an instant.

“Do you expect anyone?”

Frong could see the suspicion in Thara’s face and it made him both giddy and afraid at the same time. He didn’t want to talk about anything yet, in this state, but if he got another look like that, he pretty sure had to.

“Boom.”

Frong turned, Cupcake still in his arms, towards the door. Boom was waving and grinning at him as if he got his happiness from the misery of the people around him. Because Thara was miserable. He couldn’t even fake being happy, his frown clearly visible as he looked between them. And even Frong could see it.

“How are you? How’s the headache?”

Boom went inside, ignoring Thara as if he was air and Frong knew he had fun doing it. Arriving next to him, he ruffled through Frong’s hair as if that was something they were used to doing. Should he tell the man to back off or let him continue?

“You have a headache?”

There was no doubt about the spite in Thara’s voice and Frong had shivers running down his back. He was glad he was already sitting and having Cupcake in his arms since he needed something to hold on to.

“Yes. I mean the dehydration and I came back late ...”

It almost felt lame and like an excuse, even though he hadn’t even talked to Boom at all this morning. But the man clearly wanted to talk to him alone, if the way he moved his eyes dramatically was any indication.

“I’ll get Cupcake back into her home”, he started carefully while standing up, “You want to come with me?”

“Sure.”

If Thara still didn’t know this was a masquerade from the way Boom looked as if he’d just caught a delicious mouse, Frong didn’t know what to do.  
But Thara didn’t say anything as they walked away. Frong was still able to sense his gaze until they vanished behind the door. It burnt.

“It’s working!”

Boom was whispering and giggling and Frong wondered how he had managed to seem so mature and cool outside. He had seemed as if he was ready to seduce Frong right here and now and he was happy he knew what the plan was.

“I think so?”

“You think so? Did you see his look? He was ready to murder me and we’re talking about Thara here! He may be ready to step back, but he can’t control his emotions any longer.”

“Well”, Frong put Cupcake back into her terrarium, although she didn’t seem to like it, “He did ask me if you were still here when I came into the kitchen this morning.”

“What?”

Boom stared at him.

“I don’t think he wanted to ask me, but he kind of blurted? He apologized a lot afterward and avoided your name since then.”

“Didn’t you ask him about it?”

Frong grumbled: “I was so exhausted, I wouldn’t have lasted a second without crying and no thanks, I don’t want to start my day like that.”

Now Boom seemed rather thoughtful: “You shouldn’t wait too long for it. He is jealous now, but once he has himself under control again, it will be hard to get him to admit anything. Especially if he thinks it’s better for you.”

“I need a shower. And more time. And energy.”

Frong didn’t want to stall, but the prospect of actually talking about his feelings seemed like a threat suddenly.

Boom smiled and ruffled his hair once more.

“Don’t worry. If he were only protecting you like an older brother, he would have talked to me already. But he’s holding back which means he doesn’t really trust himself to be reasonable”, with one last petting, he stood up, “If you need my help once more, feel free to ask. But I rather think it’s enough now, even though I had the time of my life.”

“Yeah, I know”, Frong grumbled again but accompanied Boom back outside.

Thara was sitting at the table in the living room, his laptop in front of him, barely looking up.

“Bye”, Boom called, but all he got was a short glare and a lifted hand.

Boom lifted his eyebrows dramatically as he looked at Frong for the last time, who only rolled his eyes. His heart was in his throat as if he had to confess every second now, but he managed to close the door and walk back. He half expected Thara to ask or say anything, but aside from a critical look, lasting only a second, there was nothing.

“I’m going to take a shower”, he mumbled but met no reaction.

And so he went, trying to calm down his racing pulse with no idea how to approach the next step.

~~~

Quiet swearing met his ears when he came out of the bathroom again a bit later.

“You fucking shit. What ... nooooo. Fuck.”

Frong stared at Thara, unsure what to think of it as the man helplessly grumbled at the laptop in front of him, pressing random keys like a man who knows everything is lost.

“What’s going on?”

Jerking up, Thara looked at him for a moment before he realized what was going on.

“My laptop broke down and I was supposed to buy the birthday present for my aunt. I need to buy it today and I had everything entered already, but the screen is black now and the charger doesn’t work as well ...”

He clamped his mouth shut as if he’d said too much, his frustration boiling.

“You want to use mine?”, Frong gestured towards his room, “You can order online whatever you want and care for your broken laptop afterward. Maybe it only needs a moment? It’s an old one anyway, isn’t it?”

With a sigh, Thara shrugged: “Yes, please.”

Frong went into his room and returned with his laptop, a weird feeling in his chest. There was so much tension between them, but this interaction almost felt normal. As if everything else during this day hadn’t happened at all. Which made it so much harder to think of a way to change it, to talk about their problems. If they were able to behave as if everything was alright, there was no reason to change it, was there?

“Thank you.”

Their fingertips touched and their eyes locked and Frong felt his heart and throat tighten, felt as if he was drowning in a sea of emotions. He simply didn’t have an idea which emotions those were. And whose. His? Thara’s?

“No problem”, he croaked and let go, his hands sweaty even though he had just showered.

Thara still stared at him, as if he wanted to know, as if he wanted to ask, to tell, as if ... he turned away.

“You’ll get it back in a few minutes.”

“No problem”, Frong repeated automatically, “Tell me if you need the charger.”

Thara nodded and opened the laptop: “What’s the password?”

Frong felt his cheeks heating: “Cupcake. Capital C.”

This time, Thara was clearly surprised. Surprised and ... happy?  
But he didn’t ask why. Whether because he feared the answer or because he didn’t want to seem nosy, Frong didn’t know.

“Thank you.”

“No problem”, Frong said once more, feelings lame as he finally turned away from Thara, wondering if he should take the next shower instantly.

He’d just walked for three steps maybe, wasn’t even in his room, when Thara called out for him.

“Frong!”

~~~

Thara wished he could say something else. He wished he could ask, but his throat was closed and his brain screamed “No” at him in a deafening volume. Hadn’t he learned anything from this morning? Hadn’t he felt pain and embarrassment enough? Fear for losing Frong?  
And so he stopped himself, didn’t ask and didn’t say anything. Not even when Frong confessed his new password, giving him false hope once more, which burnt bright for one glorious second.

No. He wouldn’t ask. He didn’t want to know if it was because Frong had been bored or out of ideas. He didn’t want to know if this was an old one and he was now ready to change it to something Boom-related.

So he turned back, breaking the eye contact and tried to concentrate on the problem at hand. Order some things online for his aunt since his mother had asked for it and he had promised.

He typed in the password and opened the browser and ... Frong’s former tabs were still there. Thara would have never looked for them, but the last page the man had visited was staring him right in the face.

Thara had never known how it would feel if his body switched between hot and cold in a second, his mind too full and too close at the same time.

“Frong!”

Thara didn’t even look up, still frozen to spot, his gaze taped to the screen.

“What?”

Tentative steps towards him pulled Thara out of his state of mind and it was as if something had broken. Maybe this last thread which had been holding up his sanity. He turned the laptop around and lifted his eyes to a weary Frong.

“What’s this supposed to mean?”

He knew Frong was staring at his own search. Several tabs open with possible flats and apartments and condos close to campus. He knew he was accusing Frong, but he simply needed to have answers. Now. To know if he had to expect Frong to move out any day now. If he was able to change the decision. If he ... the thought was nauseating.

“I ...”

“You want to move out?”

Frong seemed a bit helpless as if he hadn’t been prepared for this talk at all.

“I thought about it?”

“You can’t.”

It was like a reflex. His control had slipped and his desperation was clear now, for all the world to see.

“Why do you care?”

Frong was taken back and defensive, ready to attack the same way, Thara had just done.

“I ... you have to stay.”

“Why? Tell me, Thara, why? There’s been so much tension between us for weeks. Why would you want me to stay?”

“Because of Cupcake. She likes you more than me and ...”

Thara stopped as he saw the disbelief and anger cross Frong’s face. It was a shitty reason, he knew. It was partially the truth, but only because it was connected to something bigger. And it was apparently time to say it.

“I love you.”

Time froze, the world stopped spinning.

Thara wished he could run away, but he was rooted to the spot, his gaze fixed on Frong, who had obviously lost any string of thoughts he had had. His mouth was agape, but no sound came out. Instead, Thara continued.

“I love you and I want you to stay. No matter the tension. And I am sorry, I know I shouldn’t feel that way and I should support you and let you go and I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. I want you to be happy. Always. But I still can’t bury those feelings and I am serious. I love how much Cupcake loves and trusts you and seeing you two together makes me happier than I would have ever thought. I am sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable, but I will try to be better and to keep it under control. Just know that I would do anything for you.”

He didn’t make any sense, he knew. His brain seemed in shambles and whatever came out of his mouth wasn’t any better. Frong finally seemed to catch up, though.

“You love me?”

Thara nodded, his lips as dry as his throat.

“But”, Frong clearly blushed, rubbing his neck for a moment before continuing, “But why did you push me away?”

Too many occasions appeared in front of Thara’s mind.

“When?”

“The kiss? Me trying to be closer to you? When you were sick? Way too many times?”

So he had to spell it out? So Frong could understand?

“Because of Boom? How could I let you cheat on him while being drunk? How could I kiss you, knowing you love someone else?”

“Back then already?”

“What?”

Frong seemed to search for the right words and Thara let him, despite his fear of what was about to come.

“I don’t love him.”

“You don’t?”

Frong shook his head and Thara tried to make sense out of it.

“But ... then why ... I mean I wondered if you were truly happy with him, but I never thought you would be with someone you don’t love and ...”

Frong let out a deep sigh and rolled his eyes, before taking the next few steps until he stood directly in front of Thara, forcing him to look up as if he was at his mercy.

Frong cupped his face, making his skin burn wherever they touched.

“Listen, my favorite idiot. I am not in a relationship with Boom and I never will be. I am also not in love with him. We’re only friends.”

Helplessly, Thara stared at Frong, not knowing if he should bury his flaming hope or let it burn.

“But ... why?”

He didn’t know any longer how to make Frong understand. How to understand anything himself.

“Were you jealous back then? When you pushed me away during this kiss?”

All Thara could do, was nod. There was no reason to hide it any longer, was there?

His nod had apparently strengthened Frong’s determination and the man sat down on his lap, straddling him as if that was where he belonged. Instinctively and automatically, Thara’s hands came up, holding onto Frong’s hips and his shirt.

“Then we were both idiots. Would I have known back then, I would have never let Boom persuade me to this farce.”

Boom had been on it?

“You faked it?”

Not knowing if he should laugh or cry, Thara kept staring, his mind already a lost cause.

“We never dated. The picture he shared was only to make you jealous, nothing else. And it was his idea.”

“Why?”

“He thought you needed one last push.”

“No”, Thara shook his head, “Why did you need to make me jealous?”

“Because”, Frong smiled helplessly, “I love you, too.”

Thara didn’t know who moved first. Everything that mattered, was them kissing the next second. Less heated than last time but double the desperation. And this time he didn’t have to let go.

~~~

“Since when?”

“Weeks ago”, Frong confessed, blushing all over, “When you told me you liked my smile and your damn vehicle was your bike.”

“Back then?”

“Well, it started then.”

Thara stared, realization hitting him.

“So, you were already ... during the camp?”

“Yes. It had started before, but I fell even deeper back then.”

“And I told you we were brothers?”

“Yes.”

“That’s why you were so angry afterward?”

“Well, yes.”

“I am such an idiot!”

With a groan, Thara buried his face in Frong’s shoulder. He would have used his hands, but he didn’t seem ready to let go. Which was totally perfect for Frong’s plans.

“I am Duen’s cousin! Oh god, I had hoped, proudly, I had gotten nothing from his denseness. Seems I’ve been even worse!”

Frong laughed out loud, the last bit of tension seeping away. He hadn’t expected this reaction, to be honest, but it was so typical Thara, Frong could only love it.

“I am sorry”, Thara mumbled into his shoulder, his ears darkening because of the blush.

“Now you know”, Frong said with a smile and lifted Thara’s face enough to kiss his forehead, “But don’t you dare forget it.”

Thara’s grip tightened: “Never. Never again!”

And they kissed again. Because now they could, with no reason to stop it.

~~~

Sometime later, after more kissing and talking, even more kissing and love confessions, they still sat on the sofa, their limbs intertwined.

“Boom is still an asshole”, Thara grumbled, ”I will never let you two be alone together again.”

Frong laughed: “No chance. He’s become a real friend.”

“To you maybe. For me, he’s a traitor.”

Frong grinned: “Who would have thought you could be pouting? Aren’t I the youngest one?”

“Let me pout. I’ve thought you two were an item for weeks!”

“You could have asked.”

“And you could have confessed.”

They stared at each other as if it was a battle, but Thara’s fingers were gently stroking Frong’s back.

“You could have realized your feelings earlier.”

“And you could have stopped looking at my cousin like that.”

Thara accompanied his words with a tender bite to Frong’s neck as if he wasn’t blushing enough already, his whole body on fire for an eternity already.

“Who would have guessed Doctor Thara could be so possessive and jealous?”, Frong said half-joking, half wondering.

The gaze with which Thara looked at him, promised him a lot more, filled with so much heat and want, Frong felt his insides tighten. It was as if his eyes were telling him he had no idea, couldn’t possibly have one at all.  
But when Thara finally spoke again, those weren’t the words he whispered in Frong’s ear.

“Only for you, my love.”

If Frong hadn’t felt like butter already, the heated kiss he received next, would have totally managed that.

It seemed as if Thara, knowing about his feelings being requited, was determined to make sure Frong knew and would never forget.

Unable to restrain the extra push of happiness rising in his chest, making him break out into a kiss, Frong knew every “I love you” was real. Every “I love you” was a promise.

And who was he to complain?

the End (at least almost -> please continue to the epilogue! ^^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading till the end.  
> If you like it, please let me know =^^=
> 
> Ps. for more requests and if you want to talk or rant, feel free: morathicain.tumblr.com


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand a little extra ;)  
> Have fun!

Epilogue

The first time, Thara had shown his jealousy, had been a major shock for Boom.  
Who was this man? Why was this happening and why was he the victim of Thara’s mood change?  
Thara, the man who was usually all smiles and calmness and weird facts. Thara, the man who would take every attack from a different perspective, making even their superiors ready to let him handle confrontations.

But here he was, grumbling and side eying Boom as if he’d been responsible for Cupcakes demise.

Boom had hoped it was just a weird day, but when he asked Frong, the boy didn’t know or didn’t want to say and the next day it got even worse. Suspicions grew and finally, Boom dropped Frong’s name almost accidentally.

Thara had been ready to burn him on the spot. No hesitation, no doubt. At least for a moment, before he realised what was going on and controlled himself again, trying to respond and act naturally.

Now, Boom knew. He knew and he had fun and he had plans.

At first, it was only to rile his friend up. Tease him a bit, maybe make him confess. But this idiot apparently thought there was more going on between Frong and Boom than simple friendship. If he’d asked, Boom would have told him he wasn’t in love with the guy, no matter how cute he seemed. Not even if Frong hadn’t been so obviously pining for Thara, it was painful to hear and watch.

But no matter how much he teased or how often he dropped a hint about them talking, Thara stepped back again, controlling his emotions. They were still clear and visible for Boom, but he didn’t ask. Not once.

And so he started pushing Frong. If Thara tried to be a martyr, Frong apparently needed to step up. Which was actually the reason why Boom got to know about their whole story. And his friend’s complete idiocy.

Seriously, who could think, after all those moments with Frong, they were like brothers? He had truly wanted to roll Frong into a blanket and feed him cookies and hot chocolate. But he also wondered, what Thara’s emotions were.

Was he only being protective like a big brother? Was it all a farce? Did he even know about his own feelings? What the heck?

If anyone would have told him how much fun it would be to push those two together, a month ago, he would have never believed it.

But now, laughing about a picture of Frong sleeping next to Thara with Cupcake on top of him, from Thara himself, he almost missed it.

No matter how much he hoped those two were able to handle their relationship from now on themselves. What a pity to give up such a beautiful hobby.

‘You’re living the dream’, he texted back.

‘My dream’

Thara kept writing and Boom kept waiting.

‘btw did you know every animal with eyelids dreams? They have similar dreaming phases as we do and it’s used to work through everything they’ve experienced during the day. The brain actually works harder at night than it ever does during the day’

Leaning against the wall and breaking out into laughter as he replied, Boom was secretly relieved to know his friend wasn’t angry with him.

‘Tell me more.’

And Thara did.

the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and enjoying my work! I wish you a wonderful day ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please let me know, if you like it ^^
> 
> For more, feel free to talk to me or send me requests (fics/headcanons/...) -> https://morathicain.tumblr.com/


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